Josh's Words of Wisdom!

Frustrations and Blessings

It's been an interesting week here...it started off normal, but turned ugly in the middle! I have been really nauseous the past week or so, but it wasn't too bad. Then, on Tuesday, I noticed some pain in my lower abdomen and back. It wasn't too bad, so I didn't think anything of it. Then Wednesday rolls around and my abdominal pain gets worse...so bad that I had a hard time standing. So, I finally called my doctor and went in (something I am not a fan of doing!). Well, he suspected that I had appendicitis and sent me to the hospital for blood tests and a CT scan. I did the CT scan (I'm not a fan of those either) and as I'm sitting in the lab giving them my precious blood and trying not to pass out, I hear my name being called. It was my doctor calling to tell me that my appendix is fine, I should go home, rest and take Advil if I'm in pain. I was so frustrated!!!! We got home and my pain was so bad that Josh gave me some Lortab! I am so glad he did because my pain got worse and worse that night. When we went to bed, I was ok...ok, I was drugged. Then, at 12:15 a.m., I was suddenly awake with this HORRIBLE pain!! I was passing a kidney stone!! So, I cried, kept my poor husband up all night and gave birth to a tiny rock! And to top things off, my pain was so intense that I threw up all over the bathroom. Lovely. So, yesterday, I called my doctor and demanded some sort of diagnosis! I was still in pain and couldn't even stand up straight. It's so frustrating when you know that something is wrong but no one will listen! It turns out that I have a urinary tract infection...ugh! But, even through all the yuckiness that we have had this week, the Lord has been blessing us. Josh gave me a blessing that was amazing. I am so very grateful to have the Priesthood in our home, and so grateful to have a loving husband who is willing to take care of me (even when I'm mean and ornery and on pain pills...ok, he likes it when I'm hopped up because I get so nutty!)

As I sat in agony on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, all I could think of were the scriptures in Alma 7:11-12 "And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." As I sat in agony, I knew that my Savior knew what I was going through. I knew that He had suffered so much more for me and for that I am eternally grateful. I begged for mercy that night and I know that mercy was given to me. It is so interesting to me that even though we have these experiences of pain and discomfort, we are also given the opportunity to grow closer to our Savior, and for that I am thankful.

What a Princess!

Ok, I stole this pic from my sister-in-law's FB album...I was crackin' up! Meet Meredith, my beautiful niece! Apparently, she's not a morning person!! I especially love that she is wearing my brother's shoes! Hilarious!

P.S. I make the same face every morning!

The Lil' Monster

Last night we looked over to see this...I thought it was hilarious how his tail was curled on his head!

I Love Easter!!

So, here's Josh's Easter "Basket"...I know I have a basket somewhere around here, but I couldn't find it, so instead he got the ghetto version in a Pyrex bowl!!

Easter has always been a very special time for me. I love the opportunity to sit and reflect on the Savior and His atonement. I think I gained a true appreciation for the importance of Easter while I was on my mission. In '99 I was sitting in the MTC listening to General Conference on Easter Sunday. In '00, I was in Farmington, NM and I learned that sitting back and feasting on the scriptures is the best way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. So, I set a goal that year that each Easter Sunday (or the couple of days following) I would read the account given in each of the 4 Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John) in the New Testament of the Last Supper all the way to Christ's death and resurrection. It is so amazing how reading these 4 accounts can change your whole outlook. I am so grateful that we have the scriptures, I love them!!! In doing this every year, I have been able to not only focus on the actual events, but I am able to see how I "measure up" in serving the Lord. I often wonder how I would have acted if I was in the apostle's places. I have often put myself in Peter's shoes wondering if I would have had done the same. I love how gentle the Savior is teaching each of them, as well as teaching us.

Lost No More

Do you ever feel like you are just one of the herd? I know I am guilty of this. There are times when we all feel lost. For some reason, Easter always makes me think of sheep (I'm not sure why - maybe because we always had leg of lamb for Easter dinner??) and sheep make me think of so many things! I think of the scriptures, my mission, and the times when I feel like I am like a sheep, blindly following. I have been pondering today on the promise that we are not alone. The times when I have felt this are the times that I have learned the most. I love the scripture in Luke 15 about the lost sheep. It brings so much comfort to my soul to know that even though I may be within the ninety and nine, my Shepherd loves me individually (Luke 15: 3-7). While I was on my mission, I had a plethora of learning experiences. One of my favorites happened in my first area, Navajo Mountain, Utah. I was serving on the Navajo Reservation (where I served the majority of my mission) and among the sagebrush and hogans, I had a life changing experience. My companion, Sister Donahue and I had exactly one active investigator (which was a pretty good accomplishment!) and we had gone out to her house to teach her the 5th discussion. As we sat there with her, we could tell that she was quite distracted. We asked what was wrong. Her sheep had not come home, the sheep dogs came back without the herd. This was devastating to her, sheep are their way of life. So, my companion and I got into our trusty blue Ford Ranger and went looking for a herd of sheep. Now, this was no easy task...there are LOTS of free roaming sheep on the reservation! We found one herd not too far from her house. We went back and told Vicki, our investigator, what we found. She asked us to describe the individual sheep to her; we did and they were not hers. So, we set out again. This time, we began our search with a prayer. Not 2 minutes later, we found the herd and guided them safely home. Vicki was in tears. She was so overcome with emotion (and honestly I didn't quite understand because to me, they were just animals) and she looked at us and thanked us over and over again. Then, she told us how important each individual sheep is to her. She knew them all. That is how she knew the first herd we found wasn't hers. She told us that each sheep is vital. From this, I gained the greatest example of how our Shepherd must see us, we are His and He knows each of us, we are vital to Him. I learned that not only did He pay the ultimate sacrifice for each of us on the cross, but we belong to Him. Each time I feel lost, I think of this story and know that He is always guiding me in the right direction. I am so grateful for this time of year, when we get to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. What a wonderful blessing it is to know Him and to know that He loves us, individually. Each of us truly is dear to the heart of the Shepherd.

Just for Laughs!

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I cracked up! Check it out! http://blog.redbox.com/redblog/2009/03/saturday-night-drivein-twilight.html

Just for the record...I am not a Twilight fan!

Playdoh Easter!

I got the cutest email today from my friend Celeste. Her daughter, Jordan (whom I love and adore) sent me an Easter egg! It's a playdoh hand holding an Easter egg. I love it!! Thanks, Jordi, I love you girly!

"Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire"

This is a note written by my friend, Fred. It touched my heart and made me realize how very blessed I am and how much I need to do to help those in need. Fred has since set up an account and is collecting donations to help buy his brother a house. If you would like donation details, just leave a comment.

"For anyone debating whether they should keep reading, i think it is worth
it. :) Although I do admit this post was more for my own peace of mind than
anything else.http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/03/19/cnnheroes.jorge.munoz/index.html
I read this...and wept. To put things into perspective, I read it after visiting
my brother, his wife and their two sons who are virtually homeless...they have
been for several months. They were on track to be able to get into a home in the
next few weeks, but then he lost his job Thursday. Their spirits are broken,
although they refuse to show it. I left with mixed emotions...in awe of my
brother's dedication to his family and positivity about his situation, yet
darkened by my inability to understand the why, numbed by seeing their dire
circumstances first-hand, and caused to ache from lacking a way to really help.
As I stand in their meager structure they use for shelter, I can't wrap my head
around going back to my home with all the amenities...getting a drink of cold,
pure water from the fridge door instead of siphoning it out of a large plastic
bin that sits in the dirt next to a sagebrush. Taking a shower with plentiful
hot water shooting out of the nozzle above my head for as long as I want,
instead of boiling some water and wiping away as much dirt as possible with a
cloth. Sleeping in my comfortable twin-sized bed with electric blanket and
pillow, instead of huddling up on a foam pad around a wood burning stove in a
makeshift "room" assembled from plywood that was scrapped from an old warehouse.
This is so depressing, I think to myself. Is this for real? This is all legit?
It just can't be... And then I watch and observe my brother, laughing heartily
as he jokes with his 15 year old. They are taking pot-shots at me, Mr. Fancy
Edumacated. Haha, they love to give me a hard time. But...where's the sadness in
his eyes? It's gotta be there...somewhere... How can it not be? This is all so
overwhelming for me, and I'm not even living like this. He is amazing. I love
him so much. He's worked so hard all of his life and has nothing to show for it.
What can I do? As he walks the gf and I back to our car, which was parked 1/2
mile away because the dirt road ended, he talks about how he's able to keep his
head up. "It's my family," he says as he smiles, with a twinge of sorrow
shooting across his face. A sorrow that represents his shame in not being able
to provide better for the ones he loves so much. "What it comes down to is being
with my family, and having them just be happy to see me. That's what really
matters, and that's what gets us by." You are a good man, Chuck. I want to help
so bad...yet feel so helpless. This is all so much bigger than me.I traveled the
two and a half hours home, all the while trying to sort out my emotions and come
up with some way to help. There's not much coming to me...everything seems so
far removed from my realm of influence to be able to do anything. I'm a social
worker. I should know more about this stuff than anyone...I shut my mind off. I
let numbness take over. I get home, exhausted and still numb. I carelessly
perform the motions of getting ready for bed. I stare at my bed...why do I
deserve that? This isn't fair. My stomach churns and my heart is heavy. It
doesn't seem right. Then I remember my brother had said something about Obama
having signed some stuff that may put his former employer in a position to hire
employees back. I need some kind of hope, some kind of good news, something,
anything to cling to, so I go online to check CNN. As I'm looking, I come across
this article (see link at top) about a most generous bus driver. And as I said,
I wept. I wept for the realization that poverty, destitution, homelessness, are
such widespread problems and getting worse day by day. I wept for the greed and
selfishness that, in an oh-so subtle fashion, increasingly consumes the hearts
of men. But more importantly, I wept for the goodness of this one man. Jorge
Munoz spends 2/3 of his income providing home cooked meals under an elevated
train in New York to 140+ strangers, day after day. What could drive him to give
so much of himself to provide for those that he doesn't even know? What's more,
how can we make more people like this? That's right, MAKE. Not make as in force,
but make as in create or mold or teach. While he may have been born with an
extra helping of charitableness or something, (for those that would argue the
nature side in the "nature vs. nurture" argument) there's something more to
it...there's something that's gotten into this man's heart to inspire him to tap
into this above-average sense of charity and actually act on it. I guess that's
a point for the nurture side. And then I wept some more, because it made me
think of my brother's plight and my own feelings of inadequacy. It made me look
at the way I was approaching the situation. What is it that I really wanted for
him and his family? Is it something that I can even give? Is there some
sacrifice I can make in order to help him? If I love him like I say I do, then
any sacrifice will naturally be worth it, right?And you know...that's what I
think this life really boils down to. The way to really make anything of
yourself, to earn any degree of true satisfaction, is only actually achieved by
forgetting yourself and doing whatever you can to help others. That's something
that the amazing bus driver from New York seems to be experiencing. Even if he
doesn't realize it.Whenever I think of the dynamics of how this world operates,
of how much people are motivated by their own self interests, I can't help but
think of the end scene of Schindler's List, wondering how similar a situation we
may find ourselves in when this life is over. I watched that movie for an
assignment in 12th grade AP History. (My sincerest thanks to Ms. Hewitt for
having us watch it.) One scene has haunted me ever since, gnawing at my soul
every time a selfish notion starts to rise up inside of me. The scene is the one
where Mr. Schindler is getting ready to flee the Soviet Army at the end of the
2nd World War as they near his factory. The factory where he bought, and
ultimately saved, the lives of over 1,100 Jews by using them as laborers. His
workers see him off, and well, the synopsis posted on IMBD describes it: They
give him a letter explaining he is not a criminal to them, together with a ring
engraved with the Talmudic quotation, "He who saves the life of one man, saves
the world entire." Schindler is touched but deeply distraught, feeling he
could've done more to save many more lives.That is what has taken root in my
heart ever since. Schindler did an unbelievable thing by saving the number of
lives that he did. But when it was all said and done, what was he thinking
about? As he prepares to get into his car, he breaks down from a startling
realization. "I threw away so much money...I didn't do enough...this car...why
did I keep this car? Ten people right there. Ten more people. This pin...two
people. This is gold, two more people. I could've gotten two for it. At least
one... One more person...I could've got one more person...and I didn't...I
didn't!" (For the full effect, watch the scene at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lPHvLtitxug .) Ever since that movie, I've always had the notion that after our time is spent in this life, we won't be so much concerned with the things we were able to get or the money we made to make our own life enjoyable, but rather whether we did everything we
could to make the lives of others enjoyable. Our financial achievements and
material stockpiles will pale in comparison to how we used our means to help the
widowed, the orphaned, the homeless...or just the one that has less than us. I
think we, too, are at risk of realizing all too late that we squandered away one
thing or another when it could have been put to better use to improve the life
of a brother or sister.No matter your personal views or religious believes, I'm
concretely convinced that the level of satisfaction you have about your life is
directly related to how much you forgot self and served others, not how often
you were self-serving. For those that prescribe to a Christian faith, I believe
that the Savior set the example for us when he was willing to give all that he
had, including his life, so that you and I could have every joy and peace. That
is the level of selflessness that will prove us worthy of the greatest
satisfaction we could ever hope for. So, my soul is succored. I no longer feel
helpless to be able to assist my brother in some way. I still don't know how to
assist him, but I know that whatever I can sacrifice to help him must surely be
worth it. Thanks for reading. Maybe you'll find someone that you can help and
have your life blessed and enriched ten-fold for it.Mosiah 4:16-1816 And also,
ye yourselves will succor those that stand in need of your succor; ye will
administer of your substance unto him that standeth in need; and ye will not
suffer that the beggar putteth up his petition to you in vain, and turn him out
to perish.17 Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself his
misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food,
nor impart unto him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments
are just—18 But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great
cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth
forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God."