I don't mean for this blog to be a sounding board for my complaints, but I guess that today that is what it is...sorry!! I wrote a few posts back about being sick with a UTI/kidney stone and what I learned from it. Apparently, I still have lessons to learn because from my CT scan they saw that I have a cyst on my ovary that is 5.38 cm (that may need to be surgically removed) and today I was diagnosed with two abscessed teeth!!! My face is huge like a chipmunk and I look like I have a gumball in my cheek...so not attractive! Yesterday when this all started coming on, I got REALLY discouraged and frustrated. All I want is to be healthy and it just isn't happening! Living each day with pain is not my idea of fun. Ok, enough complaining. I know that there are so many people that are worse off than me.
Last night, my wonderful husband arranged for me to have another blessing. I am eternally grateful for the Priesthood and for the blessing it is to live with a worthy Priesthood holder. It was a wonderful blessing and I knew when I received it that the healing would come. I was told that healing comes through our faith; this caused me to reflect a bit on my faith. I try my best to be a good and faithful woman, but I admit that there are times when the Lord has to carry me because I am too weak. My frustration over having my "Ailment of the Week" was not helping my attitude or helping my faith to grow. I felt somewhat like the man who was asked to push against the rock...a favorite story from my mission.
There once was a man who was asleep one night in his cabin when suddenly his room filled with light and the Saviour appeared to him.
The Lord told him He had a work for him to do, and showed him a large rock explaining that he was to push against the rock with all his might. This the man did, and for many days he toiled from sunup to sundown; his shoulder set squarely against the cold massive surface of the rock, pushing with all his might. Each night the man returned to his cabin sore and worn out, feeling his whole day had been spent in vain.
Seeing that the man showed signs of discouragement, Satan decided to enter the picture - placing thoughts in the man's mind, such as "Why kill yourself over this?, you're never going to move it!'' or "Boy, you've been at it a long time and you haven't even scratched the surface!'' etc. giving the man the impression the task was impossible and the man was an unworthy servant because he wasn't moving the massive stone.
These thoughts discouraged and disheartened the man and he started to ease up in his efforts. "Why kill myself?'' he thought. "I'll just put in my time putting forth just the minimum of effort and that will be good enough.'' And this he did or at least planned on doing until, one day, he decided to take his troubles to the Lord.
"Lord,'' he said, "I have labored hard and long in Your service, putting forth all my strength to do that which You have asked of me. Yet after all this time, I have not even budged that rock even half a millimeter. What is wrong? Why am I failing?''
To this the Lord responded compassionately, "My friend, when long ago I asked you to serve Me and you accepted, I told you to push against the rock with all your strength and that you have done. But never once did I mention to you that I expected you to move it. At least not by yourself. Your task was to push. And now you come to Me, your strength spent, thinking that you have failed, ready to quit. But is this really so? Look at yourself. Your arms are strong and muscled; your back sinewed and brown. Your hands are calloused from constant pressure and your legs have become massive and hard. Through opposition you have grown much and your ability now far surpasses that which you used to have. Yet still, you haven't succeeded in moving the rock; and you come to Me now with a heavy heart and your strength spent. I, my friend will move the rock. Your calling was to be obedient and push, and to exercise your faith and trust in My wisdom, and this you have done. I, my friend, I will move the rock."
So, I have decided to change my attitude (or at least attempt to try!) about what obstacles come our way. No matter what it is, it not my place to ask why, but simply do my best to deal with it. After all, the Savior reminds us in Helaman 5:12 to "build upon the rock of our Redeemer".
And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.
